if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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