she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
