so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's never too late to be topless.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
