Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
