Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
