I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
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do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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