That's when you crack a 10am beer
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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