Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
