i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
