Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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