The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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