Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
third nipple confirmed
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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