She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
