Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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