I need to stop coming to work sober
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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