Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am available for nakedness
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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