The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
