Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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