so explain again why im purple
no
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
