she woke up with a sticky ear
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
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i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
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Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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