there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
