so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
