I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
