I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
