just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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