I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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