imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
