Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize