During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
