just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize