i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
