The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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