god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
