Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
