i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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