Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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