I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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