You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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