Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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