just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
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Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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