I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
