I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This is classic penis vs brain.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
