New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize