and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
