didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
