Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
