So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
