No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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