so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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