Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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