Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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