jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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