whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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