I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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