escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
