note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize