He kissed a someone with a penis
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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