Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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