So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
