Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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