honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
