Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
