She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
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He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
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So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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